This will be our last week focusing on big feelings and this time I want to stress the importance of turning to others for support. Having a list of coping strategies or a big feelings kit is definitely a great help, but sometimes you just need a little more help. 

It has been a struggle for me - and a lot of others adults I know - to be able to accept that what I'm feeling or dealing with is too much for me to handle on my own and it's NOT weakness to turn to someone else for support or help. I'm not entirely sure how we ended up in this individualistic perfectionist culture where it's not ok to fail or ask for help. But I do know that we weren't put here on this earth to go through life alone and so I'm here to tell you it's ok to fail and turn to others for support. We can't possibly know how to get through every challenge or fix every problem on our own, but together we can do just about anything!

Last week we touched on the big feelings of anger, frustration, and sadness with the story "Sometimes I'm Bombaloo" by Rachel Vail. This week we're going to tackle the a different big feeling - worry. 

I have always been a worrier but I never knew how to help ease the worry so I would just keep getting anxious - often about the same kind of situation - over and over and over again. Now that I have children of my own, I feel compelled to learn to deal with my own anxiety so that I can help them not become lifelong worriers like myself. 

The first thing I want to point out is that worry and fear have a very important part to play in our lives - they help keep us safe. The problem is when the worry and fear keep us from doing things that aren't really dangerous. I feel like the problematic worries usually fall into two categories: over-worry about getting hurt or sick and worry about being embarrassed or left out. You can see examples of these kinds of worry in today's story, "Hector's Favorite Place" by Jo Rook. Hector doesn't want to go out for a walk in the snow because he's worried he might get cold and sick and he doesn't want to go ice skating because he's worried he'll fall and hurt himself. Then, when Hector gets invited to a party, he thinks, "What if I can't dance?" Listen to the story with your children and find out if Hector lets his worries keep him from trying new things or if he'll learn to be brave and face his fears!

Last week, we explored all the different feelings in our hearts with the story "In My Heart" and this week we'll be tackling the big feelings - you know the ones! Anger, frustration, and sadness are the ones we'll specifically be touching on. These feelings can be difficult for everyone, but especially for children who are just learning to navigate the world, their minds, and hearts. These are the feelings which usually lead to epic meltdowns and tantrums and our kids need our help learning to take care of these big feelings.

One thing I've learned from my children - and myself - is that once that angry or sad energy builds, it can't just go away. The sooner you can get that energy out in an appropriate manner, the sooner the calm can return. My good friend, Brie Verrinder, who is a child, adult, and family counselor, put together this list of coping strategies for kids experiencing big feelings. Teaching children early on to divert their energy toward one of these ideas rather than being hurtful or screaming mean words will help them be able to take control of their feelings on their own when they're older.

Blow bubbles

Snuggle a pet or stuffed animal

Talk to a trusted grownup

Take a water break

Draw a picture

Take a break from what you're doing

Listen to a silly song

Do something kind and helpful

Build with Lego or blocks

Stretch or do yoga poses

Take deep breaths

Remember a funny joke

Ask a family member for a hug

Write about how you're feeling

Go for a walk outside

Play with a fidget toy

Make a gratitude list

Think of a happy memory or peaceful place

Since May is Mental Health Month, I wanted to devote our Read and Rise Books to helping children develop emotional and mental health. It is such an important topic - especially during these unprecedented and challenging times - and is vital to nurturing a strong sense of self in our children. Plus, learning more about our emotions and mental health can help all of us as well!